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Monster ain't cute

semester two

  I just got my result for my semester 2 exam , and the result is not so ...ermmmmm .I don't know the right word for this , awesome I guess ? I disappointed with my own self , because I know I could done better . walaupun aku tahu yang aku akan dapat result macam tu , aku sendiri tak tahu kenapa aku emosional terlebih sensitif sangat . dumb adnin is being dumb .

 Semester 2 gonna be one of my toughest semester . no not because of the subject , but because the problems that I face , the problems that i let them destroy my self for the whole semester . I'm not being me , no I won't blame them , I blame my self . how could I even let that happen ?

  You know , if all of the bullshit didn't associated with my family and my best of the best friends , I wouldn't care . But it did . 

  Mom , I know you hide it from me for my own sake , because you afraid that i would hurt so much . yes i do . but mom ,. that thing is serious , its about our life . I just hurt even more when I knew about the thing is because I saw it with my own eyes , and you still didn't tell me by then . I wait for you to tell me , yet you still hide it from me . I just make up my mind that I would ask you my self , although I already know the answer . and when you say "yes" , i'm just mad , and i cried like crazy and my eyes was swollen like somebody punch me on my face . Of course you don't know that right ? you won't know ......

  Dear friend , I love you , I love like crazy-ly love you . I know I shouldn't distance my self from you because of the most silly thing . but what should I do ? I love you too much . I don't have anybody except my family , and you . and my mind was thinking that u might leave me , and I was afraid we wouldn't be like we used to be , and you would really leave me . I'm sorry for being too sensitive , being too childish , sape suruh rapat dengan aku , kang aku dh cakap , makin rapat orang tu dengan aku , makin sayang aku dekat dia , makin sensitif makin manja aku jadi haaaaa . padan muka huahuahua . but we're okay now right ? we close again , and thanks , for being back to yourself , and thanks for being indulgent with me :)

  For those who would be asking about my relationship with my mom , we are okay now , we more than okay . aku marah kejap jer , terasa kejap . tak reti nak marah orang lebih dari 4 jam . nanti rindu shushah haha . aku marah , aku nangis , aku tido , aku bangun aku okay . bukan jenis aku nak marah orang nak terasa dengan orang berhari hari berminggu minggu ni . nanti aku rasa tak tenang , susah hati nak cari sape hoi ? 

  For the whole semester , I was torn between kill my self or kill people all around me . But at the end of the semester , so much good things happen and I like it . because that was the time i'm back being me again . and you know what ? I might get a nice kitty , well , I hope so....

10 May 2013 @ 5:48 PM / 0 daisies

Pain .

       It's true life isn't easy here . but i never thought it would be this hard . slowly i am getting tired of this kinda of life . i am getting weaker . i don't know till when i can hold on . i don't know till when i can hide this feeling . being a hypocrite is the most thing i hate to do . showing the fake smile , like a nutshell , is hurt a lot . 

     Seriously , I AM TOO TIRED . i'm not that strong to face the same person that always hurt me so much to give a smile and fake laugh when they making a joke . they wouldn't know that i hate too much that kind of attitude , being angry to people randomly , always make fun of each other . i hate it but there is nothing that i can do because i was too afraid that she would make fun of me too . God i'm in pain . 
16 January 2013 @ 4:35 PM / 0 daisies

Retarded post

  Realize it or not , its more than 4 month since i leave home to be a Quantitative Science student's at UITM Alor Gajah . you miss me don't chu ?? . say you miss me or i will kick your ass *serious face*

 Dont you know that i feel better now getting more comfortable and alhamdulillah my study is getting better and better and i feel awesome hoho :3 mula mula datang sini sumpah tak best langsong . everything is awkward , and that one moment bila sampai satu tahap i cry over nothing and my eyes was swollen like someone punched me because i was sooooo stress so uncomfortable feeling like shit seriously i was down .

 Life is fun in Lendu . but seriously i miss home . kawan kawan kat sini tak sama macam kawan kawan kat sana . you got to know that high school bestfriend are the most amazing friends on the earth . serius aku cakap kau pergi mana mana uni pon ke planet marikh sekalipon kau takkan dapat kawan macam kawan high school kau . please . kau merantau ke mana mana sekali pon . tolong jangan lupakan kewujudan kawan lama kau . you wont get those kind of friendship anymore . life in uni ni , banyak stabbing banyak betraying taw tak . you will meet those fake people acting like shit . so tell me . babe , what is life if your life is full betrayed people . it is kinda tiring layan orang macam tu . menyampah pon ada taw tak . tapi nk wat macam mana kan . kita bukan boleh ubah orang tu . they wont listen to us because they think they are too awesome *baling lendu atas muka*

Taw tak sekarang tengah lapa gila *tetiba tukar topik* . mana nak cari makanan malam buta macam ni . nak wat meggie pon malas . nak bangon dari katil ni pon malas jhahaha . see i getting crazy when i hungry . please dont take me seriously okebye love youuuuuu *jerit kuat2*

Ending my post randomly because i dont have any retarded cute awesome amazing idea to continue my post . skang tengah study week thats why aku tetiba rajin nak post benda mengarot ni haha . study malas . whats gonna happen to you nien -.-

28 September 2012 @ 2:16 AM / 0 daisies

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